I FEEL

The sun that shines on my skin feels as if God is giving me a warm hug. I take a deep breath of cool air and feel my lungs expand with life – the breath that God gave me. Through the portals that God created me with – I see smiles, I hear laughter, I touch love – I feel existence.

But then suddenly I feel pain as wounds become visible to me in the restlessness of one who is suddenly screaming before me; her exhaustion in existing – this so called gift of life - there, in her words, tears streaming, a life consumed with injuries, her words ache in search for something – what?...anything…says she…healing mostly –

I listen. I hear Love is… delight, happiness, pleasure, enjoyment, bliss, ecstasy, elation, joyfulness, thrilling, wonderful, exciting…Can you give these things to one who feels defeated and has no strength to carry on as she has discovered that love is but a word that is not real and has no value in her days… how? How do you do it?

Jesus healed. He healed and he healed and he healed broken flesh – broken spirits. He tells us to do as He did… and I am at a loss as I witness this pain. And it is just one soul. Billions more cry out to Him. And still billions more do not – but He hears them anyway… He loves them anyway…. So how do you help overcome defeat for someone who is overwhelmed in every way imaginable and does not see nor feel this love I speak of… I cry with her words of pain still echoing in my heart…

Psalm 31:9-24….. “Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends— those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery… But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. …..Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city. In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!" Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help. Love the LORD, all his saints! ….. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”

SOULS

Sometimes, I look into everyone that I pass by .... I look into their eyes and I see their soul. Their soul because they are alive... like me... There are many souls and so different... when I'm at the hospital I see the souls of people like the doctors and their expensive shoes and their expensive paintings .... but inside their eyes I still see soul... just like everyone else... and like at Burger King, there are people... mostly with struggles (I think) maybe not... maybe struggles are what we make them to ourselves.. but I look into their eyes and they have souls just the same... and the soul of a child is the most pure... standing proud, in a purple dress... wearing a diamond tiara on her head, clentching her birthday balloons... and in her eyes... her soul is content.... the smell of people here are "clean" like soap, and downy, and lotion... the smell of people that I've met along in my life.... - but in their eyes... it's where a lifetime is contained... I suppose this is why in a child's eyes there is more peace... because the life span contained hasn't been a long one - and for the most part - oblivious to the negativeity around them.... what is most amazing is that we each have the power to change, to give, or to take away from other's eyes... young or old... and do we make them shine brighter by bringing them laughter or a good memory? or do we dull the light that is there ... causing tears and pain and anger and confusion...? May God place good people in our paths... in the paths of our children... to make our souls glad.....